So...I've spent the last 3 years working closely with my primary care physician. Her practice has offered several "Biggest Loser" and "Your Healthier Way" programs that emphasize nutrition, weight loss, exercise, life style and behavior modification. Basically, I know WHAT to do to lose weight...I just can never seem to lose enough so that I can KEEP it off. That's what I'm looking into with the Weight Loss Surgery.
Stay tuned...I'm going to fill you in on all the totally-cool God stuff that's brought me to this place in my life and in my journey.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
How I got here...continued
So, I graduated from DC in 1987 and moved out west to San Diego, CA and began college at Point Loma Nazarene College. Awesome! Beach front property, probably the ONLY time in my life I will have an ocean view from my bedroom. I loved school, and had quite a few friends. I gained the obligatory "Freshman 15" but was active with my classes and a part-time job as a nanny for two little girls. A dear friend of mine my sophomore year wanted to join Weight Watchers, and needed some moral support. I thought it would be fun, and I could stand to lose a few pounds I was sure.
Well, the first Weight Watchers weigh in...the scale showed a number that I was NOWHERE ready for! I thought for sure the "50" pound weight would still be in the 150 pound spot where it had been when I was in high school. The 50 pound weight had to move, but it was up to the 200 pound spot. 219 pounds. I was devastated. Seeing that number, that high motivated me to take the Weight Watchers program seriously, and I worked hard! I lost 60 pounds in 6-8 months and felt great. I managed to keep that weight off for quite a few years. I graduated from Point Loma, got a teaching credential, moved to Hemet to teach high school English, moved back to San Diego to teach for a few years, then got a job at Subway Sandwiches' corporate office where I met 'HIM!'
"He" was a sweet, quiet, fun-loving guy. He loved Disney movies and Disneyland as much as I did. He liked sports and had a lot of friends. He was perfect. We dated for a few years and got married in 1999. After we got married, I noticed that I had put on the weight I had lost in college, and more. I felt fat, ugly and depressed.
I think I was pretty much on a diet for the next 4 years...always on and off, watching what I ate, trying to exercise, and pretty much miserable. After a miscarriage in January of 2002, I knew that I would not have a successful pregnancy if I didn't lose some weight...so I tried in earnest to lose some of it. We discovered we were pregnant again on October 31, 2002. My first doctor's appointment, I remember seeing the digital scale show "258" and I was stunned. I knew I'd "let myself go" but THAT MUCH?! I gained 30 pounds during the pregnancy and was pregnant from "my chin to my knees." I was HUGE!! I knew I was big...but when I saw "Morbidly Obese" written on the top of my chart one day, I was really, truly devastated. I realized that when people described me, they referred to me as "the heavy-set gal." And it hurt because that would be an accurate description.
I'm kind of feeling worn out...and think it's wise for me to step back from this little, or more accurately BIG trip down memory lane. I'll come back and give the last 6 years a shot later.
Well, the first Weight Watchers weigh in...the scale showed a number that I was NOWHERE ready for! I thought for sure the "50" pound weight would still be in the 150 pound spot where it had been when I was in high school. The 50 pound weight had to move, but it was up to the 200 pound spot. 219 pounds. I was devastated. Seeing that number, that high motivated me to take the Weight Watchers program seriously, and I worked hard! I lost 60 pounds in 6-8 months and felt great. I managed to keep that weight off for quite a few years. I graduated from Point Loma, got a teaching credential, moved to Hemet to teach high school English, moved back to San Diego to teach for a few years, then got a job at Subway Sandwiches' corporate office where I met 'HIM!'
"He" was a sweet, quiet, fun-loving guy. He loved Disney movies and Disneyland as much as I did. He liked sports and had a lot of friends. He was perfect. We dated for a few years and got married in 1999. After we got married, I noticed that I had put on the weight I had lost in college, and more. I felt fat, ugly and depressed.
I think I was pretty much on a diet for the next 4 years...always on and off, watching what I ate, trying to exercise, and pretty much miserable. After a miscarriage in January of 2002, I knew that I would not have a successful pregnancy if I didn't lose some weight...so I tried in earnest to lose some of it. We discovered we were pregnant again on October 31, 2002. My first doctor's appointment, I remember seeing the digital scale show "258" and I was stunned. I knew I'd "let myself go" but THAT MUCH?! I gained 30 pounds during the pregnancy and was pregnant from "my chin to my knees." I was HUGE!! I knew I was big...but when I saw "Morbidly Obese" written on the top of my chart one day, I was really, truly devastated. I realized that when people described me, they referred to me as "the heavy-set gal." And it hurt because that would be an accurate description.
I'm kind of feeling worn out...and think it's wise for me to step back from this little, or more accurately BIG trip down memory lane. I'll come back and give the last 6 years a shot later.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
...on with the show this is IT!!!
So...I've been thinking about it...and thinking about it...and thinking about it some more...and the time is here and NOW! So...welcome to "Oh Lori Where Art Thou?!" This is the journal of my adventure with Weight Loss Surgery. My thoughts, feelings, concerns, triumphs, challenges, you get the idea.
So, reminiscent of Maria Von Trapp, "Let's start at the very beginning...it's a VERY good place to start." I don't think I was a fat child. Looking at photos of myself as a kid, I don't see a fat, chubby, pudgy kid at all. I was happy, and most importantly, healthy. I do remember that food was a "reward" at our house...and could be a penalty at times too. If we were "really good" at the store, didn't ask for TOO many toys, etc. we would get a treat on the way home. If we did all of our homework after school, we could have a scoop of ice cream after dinner. Food was also a loss of a reward, or a sign of disappointment. When we were a little "out of sorts" or behaving badly, the promise of dessert after dinner, or a trip to the corner store for candy would be taken away. So food has always had VALUE to me.
When I was 7 or 8, I really developed a love of reading. Laura Ingalls Wilder's "Little House on the Prarie" was my favorite. I desperately wanted the whole series in the cool "collector's shelf boxed set." It was pretty expensive back then, and being that my dad was a minister there wasn't a lot of money to play with. Nevertheless, mom made a deal with me. If I lost 10 pounds, she'd buy the books for me. I did, and eventually got the books. It was summer vacation, and while I wasn't heavy, I think mom feared that if I just sat around all summer reading and eating, I'd definitely become overweight. I think she was just using the "lose 10 pounds" part of the bargain to keep me moving and active during the summer. So...even at 7 or 8, I was learning about dieting and food and rewards.
Flash forward a few years to high school. Freshman year at Denver Christian High School. There were 60 kids in the freshman class. We were divided into 2 PE classes. The first semester of freshman PE was all about fitness, with the ultimate goal of developing in us a life-time love of exercise and sport. Not exactly what I got out of the class. Several of the senior boys at school had been chosen as teacher's assistants for Coach Van. They were all good looking, football players, very popular and INTIMIDATING. First day of class, the assignment was to record all of our vital statistics. We took blood pressure measurements, pulse rate, height, and you guessed it...WEIGHT. And the senior boys worked the scale. HORROR!! I remember being one of the last girls to weigh in...and the class was CO-ED, not just girls. I remember stepping on the scale and Tim S had to move the "50" pound weight on the scale from the 100 spot to the 150 spot. Again, HORROR! Scale read "161 pounds." I was humiliated. That was more than a lot of the BOYS in the class. Looking back, and seeing photos of myself at 13, I was an athlete in fantastic physical shape. I had a very low percentage of body fat, was SOLID and very healthy! I think I was just blessed with a very solid, Dutch frame (at least that is what my grandma told me). At any rate, while I see that NOW, then all I saw was the "161" and the knowledge that I was BIGGER THAN EVERY ONE ELSE. Weight, and what the scale said, have been a part of my way of thinking since I was 13. Wow...37 years!
So, reminiscent of Maria Von Trapp, "Let's start at the very beginning...it's a VERY good place to start." I don't think I was a fat child. Looking at photos of myself as a kid, I don't see a fat, chubby, pudgy kid at all. I was happy, and most importantly, healthy. I do remember that food was a "reward" at our house...and could be a penalty at times too. If we were "really good" at the store, didn't ask for TOO many toys, etc. we would get a treat on the way home. If we did all of our homework after school, we could have a scoop of ice cream after dinner. Food was also a loss of a reward, or a sign of disappointment. When we were a little "out of sorts" or behaving badly, the promise of dessert after dinner, or a trip to the corner store for candy would be taken away. So food has always had VALUE to me.
When I was 7 or 8, I really developed a love of reading. Laura Ingalls Wilder's "Little House on the Prarie" was my favorite. I desperately wanted the whole series in the cool "collector's shelf boxed set." It was pretty expensive back then, and being that my dad was a minister there wasn't a lot of money to play with. Nevertheless, mom made a deal with me. If I lost 10 pounds, she'd buy the books for me. I did, and eventually got the books. It was summer vacation, and while I wasn't heavy, I think mom feared that if I just sat around all summer reading and eating, I'd definitely become overweight. I think she was just using the "lose 10 pounds" part of the bargain to keep me moving and active during the summer. So...even at 7 or 8, I was learning about dieting and food and rewards.
Flash forward a few years to high school. Freshman year at Denver Christian High School. There were 60 kids in the freshman class. We were divided into 2 PE classes. The first semester of freshman PE was all about fitness, with the ultimate goal of developing in us a life-time love of exercise and sport. Not exactly what I got out of the class. Several of the senior boys at school had been chosen as teacher's assistants for Coach Van. They were all good looking, football players, very popular and INTIMIDATING. First day of class, the assignment was to record all of our vital statistics. We took blood pressure measurements, pulse rate, height, and you guessed it...WEIGHT. And the senior boys worked the scale. HORROR!! I remember being one of the last girls to weigh in...and the class was CO-ED, not just girls. I remember stepping on the scale and Tim S had to move the "50" pound weight on the scale from the 100 spot to the 150 spot. Again, HORROR! Scale read "161 pounds." I was humiliated. That was more than a lot of the BOYS in the class. Looking back, and seeing photos of myself at 13, I was an athlete in fantastic physical shape. I had a very low percentage of body fat, was SOLID and very healthy! I think I was just blessed with a very solid, Dutch frame (at least that is what my grandma told me). At any rate, while I see that NOW, then all I saw was the "161" and the knowledge that I was BIGGER THAN EVERY ONE ELSE. Weight, and what the scale said, have been a part of my way of thinking since I was 13. Wow...37 years!
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